another hash mark on the sleeve of indignity.

it was some kind of holiday. i don't remember exactly what it was, but it was around september 2008. for some reason i had a 96 hour pass. in english, that means i had four days off to do whatever the fuck i wanted, and didn't have to go back to base for any reason. the only problem was that it was wednesday night, but the actual holiday wasn't until friday. thus, it was just a normal weekday night. i usually stayed with my parents on long weekends, since it was free and they liked it when i came home to visit. i also usually frequented a bar about three blocks away from their house, but i didn't feel like going there that night.

i decided to head up to main street in seal beach instead. they have some cool "irish" "pubs" over there, where i can go when i'm feeling low key and not wanting to be recognized from high school. i walked into one of them and sat down. i saw a few surfer bro's playing pool, some chicks talking by the bar, and a particularly douchy looking bartender.

immediately i noticed the two girls by the bar. one of them was the type i like to call the "softball player." the kind of girl that, even if she was at a wedding wearing a dress, she'd still be wearing a hooded sweatshirt, kneepads, and have her hair tied back in a ponytail like she was going to don a helmet at any moment. the other girl looked like she might have been a transsexual. her face was proportioned like a man's. she had a strong jaw and a heroic nose. she also had the most enourmous breasts i'd ever seen. it looked like the doctor had implanted two overinflated basketballs into her chest. if i wasn't a complete pervert it would have been disgusting.

anyway, i looked around and noticed there was a sign hung on the wall by the hallway which led to the restroom. the sign said "we love our sailors." there is a naval base somewhere in the vicinity of that area. i asked the bartender for a marker, and wrote "we love Marines more." he laughed and poured me another jack and coke, and asked the usual questions.

i eventually worked my way into conversation with the two girls by the bar. they went outside to smoke, and i followed, though unimpressed by whatever stupid conversation they were having. that was when i noticed their friend, however. she was about five foot three, but had tall heels on that made her about five foot five. she had on some really tight jeans that really outlined her frame well. she also wore a leopard print jacket, and a faux fedora with a zebra scarf around it. she had long black hair, with bangs that were a little too shaggy so you couldn't really see her eyes.

i don't know how it happened, but i let the alcohol work its magic and within five minutes we were holding hands. i think her friends were mad. the huge breasted transvestite was trying to tell me that golf balls had a bouncy ball in the middle, and you could get it out if you used a saw to cut the golf ball open.

i didn't care.

the girl in leopard print turned out to be indian. she was by far the cutest hindu i've ever seen. we got a cheap motel in long beach and spent the night there. we fucked. it was nothing special; and her pussy kind of smelled. i was disappointed. she had a great body, too, but that was just a major turnoff. oh well.

i never called her again. i'll probably run into her in a few years, and have an awkward conversation.

i hate seal beach.